Sneering in the face of Adversity, daily pursuing levels of kickassery previously unknown to man. Sometimes I imagine Thor at different restaurants.

geniusbillionaireplayboy:

At a fast food joint: “YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I CAN HAVE A DOZEN BURGERS OF HAM THAT IS NOT HAM BUT BEEF FOR TEN ASGARDIAN DOLLARS? I REQUEST FIVE ORDERS.”

At an all you can eat buffet: “WHY AM I ONLY ALLOTTED SUCH A SMALL SERVING OF THE MEAT I REQUESTED THE ENTIRTY OF THE ANIMAL. NO I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THE BAR OF LETTACE AND UNCOOKED VEGETABLES.”

At an upscale restaurant: “WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SILVERWEAR WITH WHICH TO EAT? IN MIDGARD WE EAT PRIMARILY WITH OUR HANDS, EVEN ON THE FIELDS OF BATTLE WHEN THEY ARE STAINED WITH DIRTY AND THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES.”

At a Chinese restaurant: “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE OF THESE STICKS OF WOOD OR HOW ONE CAN BE EXPECTED TO EAT SUCH SMALL RICE WITH THEM. IS THIS A TEST OF MANHOOD?”

At Chuck E. Cheese’s: “BUT WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY IN THE PITT OF BALLS? THE MAN OF IRON HAS CLAIM OF THE METAL BALL MACHINE AND THE MAN OF STAR SPANGLE IS SUCCESSFUL CAPTURING OBJECTS WITH THE METAL CLAW! I WISH TO PARTAKE IN THE PITT OF COLORFUL BALLS!”

My blog All of Tumblr